2008 Woodie Awards
The Truth About Love
Kaity Parson
Issue date: 11/4/06 Section: Opinion
There is no such thing as falling in love. I want to make that clear before I begin.
People do not fall in love; they fall in ditches, they fall off cliffs, and they fall in holes, but they do not fall in love.
We, however, are living in a starry-eyed- head over heel -rose colored- Mr. McDreamy type of society that leads us to believe that love is something that you fall into, madly and passionately.
But let's climb out of the "love ditch" for just a minute, because love is not something you fall into and it certainly is not something that happens at first sight.
Love is a project that takes a certain amount of time, dedication, and determination to actually work.
Contrary to popular belief, love does not conquer all and never has.
It does, however, cause us to do and say a lot of crazy things. I would like to address just a few of those things right now:
*First things first- love is not a good enough reason for two people to be together. As I stated before, there are some differences between individuals that love cannot conquer.
If you think that your love is strong enough to overcome these differences, then you are sadly mistaken. I'm not saying that a couple can't work through certain issues.
However, love or no love, some people are just not meant to be together.
*Love should not be confused with longevity. Just because you have been with someone for 5 years does not mean that the relationship was built on love, or any type of solid foundation for that matter.
Some long term relationships have lasted only because of the insecurities of both parties. Do not allow your insecurities, or your innate need to have some sort of companionship, get the best of you.
*Love should definitely not be confused with sex. This statement is more for the ladies because it seems that men are better able to differentiate between sexual gratification and an emotional connection.
Remember that sex and love are two separate entities capable of coexistence.
* Now I'm sure I'll get an argument out of my next statement, but here it is- "You CAN control who you love!" That's right, I said it. Love is a choice and should not be viewed as an uncontrollable, unstoppable force that bulldozes free will and causes you to fall for someone, even when the relationship is unhealthy. People always say that you can't help who you love, but this is definitely a myth. You just have to be proactive and stop waiting around for the love bug to bite.
I'd like to leave you with one final thought. Do you remember the song by Luther Ingram, "If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right"?
Well, this particular song has messed up a lot of people's lives. I personally think the message in itself is absolutely absurd and quite illogical. Why would I want to be with someone if the relationship is not right?
I don't know about anyone else, but when it comes to love, I'd rather be right, wouldn't you?
People do not fall in love; they fall in ditches, they fall off cliffs, and they fall in holes, but they do not fall in love.
We, however, are living in a starry-eyed- head over heel -rose colored- Mr. McDreamy type of society that leads us to believe that love is something that you fall into, madly and passionately.
But let's climb out of the "love ditch" for just a minute, because love is not something you fall into and it certainly is not something that happens at first sight.
Love is a project that takes a certain amount of time, dedication, and determination to actually work.
Contrary to popular belief, love does not conquer all and never has.
It does, however, cause us to do and say a lot of crazy things. I would like to address just a few of those things right now:
*First things first- love is not a good enough reason for two people to be together. As I stated before, there are some differences between individuals that love cannot conquer.
If you think that your love is strong enough to overcome these differences, then you are sadly mistaken. I'm not saying that a couple can't work through certain issues.
However, love or no love, some people are just not meant to be together.
*Love should not be confused with longevity. Just because you have been with someone for 5 years does not mean that the relationship was built on love, or any type of solid foundation for that matter.
Some long term relationships have lasted only because of the insecurities of both parties. Do not allow your insecurities, or your innate need to have some sort of companionship, get the best of you.
*Love should definitely not be confused with sex. This statement is more for the ladies because it seems that men are better able to differentiate between sexual gratification and an emotional connection.
Remember that sex and love are two separate entities capable of coexistence.
* Now I'm sure I'll get an argument out of my next statement, but here it is- "You CAN control who you love!" That's right, I said it. Love is a choice and should not be viewed as an uncontrollable, unstoppable force that bulldozes free will and causes you to fall for someone, even when the relationship is unhealthy. People always say that you can't help who you love, but this is definitely a myth. You just have to be proactive and stop waiting around for the love bug to bite.
I'd like to leave you with one final thought. Do you remember the song by Luther Ingram, "If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right"?
Well, this particular song has messed up a lot of people's lives. I personally think the message in itself is absolutely absurd and quite illogical. Why would I want to be with someone if the relationship is not right?
I don't know about anyone else, but when it comes to love, I'd rather be right, wouldn't you?
Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 5
Teresa
posted 11/18/06 @ 4:40 PM EST
Most people do feel like they have fallen in love with someone, where in fact they are actually lusting after that person. Most people don't know what love is. (Continued…)
A. Stefan
Anca S.
posted 11/20/06 @ 6:51 PM EST
uhmm... i wouldn't be so daring, kaity :)) Love does exist. it is quite possible that two people who have amazing similarities in taste, humor, ideals, goals, etc. (Continued…)
Kaity Parson
posted 11/23/06 @ 9:15 AM EST
I never said that love does not exist, Anca. You substantially misunderstood me on that point. Love definitely exists. I said that falling in love does not exist, making "falling" the operative word in that statement. (Continued…)
Tupcream
Tiffany Upchurch
posted 2/07/07 @ 11:28 AM EST
I would like to first start off and say that this is a true passage- that most people feel like they're falling in love. It takes time to love someone and even though you may have known them for years, it takes alot of time and effort to keep the relationship going to the point of "falling in love". (Continued…)
Alberto V.
posted 4/10/08 @ 5:06 PM EST
I do not completely agree with this passage, no u do not fall in love if you want to be technical about it, And put emphasis on falling. I do agree that love should not be what keeps someone together love does not make a relationship. (Continued…)
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