2008 Woodie Awards
Allison Wondergirl
True Stories of a Fictional Queen
Emily Farrington
Issue date: 10/24/07 Section: Entertainment
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My family vacations at the beach every summer. A lot of people live in my house and for some reason, the sun and moon align perfectly each year and all of my family gets along for 7 whole days. This year me, my Mom and Dad, Molly & Hana, our Aunt Beth, Grandpa Mike, Cousin Elizabeth and Molly's friends Chelsea and Kyle, spent our week in beautiful Emerald Isle, off the coast of North Carolina. I'll go ahead and remind you, that is 10 people with which to coexist. We managed fairly well, but all because of Hana.
So Tuesday night we started playing the Official Card Game of the Farrington Family: Phase 10. This card game has plagued our family since the early 1990's. The point of the game is that each round you are dealt 10 cards. You're trying to collect different groupings of cards, two sets of three of the same number, nine consecutive cards in a row, blah blah blah and whatever, before everyone else. The long and short of it is that, if you have more than 5 people playing, the game never ends. As is Farrington tradition, we would start this game at about 10 o'clock and still be playing at three in the morning. At that point we would all throw our cards on the floor, most likely physically assault the family member next to us, and go to bed cursing the game. Upon sunrise, every mouth would be saying that they would never play that godforsaken game again. However, come 10:00, where was everyone? Around the table playing Phase 10.
Anyway. This was our drug of choice for an idle Tuesday evening. We were somewhere in the first 3rd of the game and Hana pipes up out of the blue that, "My friend Allison is just like Allison in the book." We all pause, look at her quizzically, and then resume our game. She repeats herself, louder and louder still, until we're forced to respond.
"MY FRIEND ALLISON IS JUST LIKE ALLISON IN THE BOOK!!!"
"What book, Hana?" I say.
"You know. Allison Wondergirl."
We all pause, look at her quizzically, and then resume our game. We should have learned, though, that this tactic did not work the first time. She screamed at a decibel only dogs could hear, "ALLISON WONDERGIRL."
So Tuesday night we started playing the Official Card Game of the Farrington Family: Phase 10. This card game has plagued our family since the early 1990's. The point of the game is that each round you are dealt 10 cards. You're trying to collect different groupings of cards, two sets of three of the same number, nine consecutive cards in a row, blah blah blah and whatever, before everyone else. The long and short of it is that, if you have more than 5 people playing, the game never ends. As is Farrington tradition, we would start this game at about 10 o'clock and still be playing at three in the morning. At that point we would all throw our cards on the floor, most likely physically assault the family member next to us, and go to bed cursing the game. Upon sunrise, every mouth would be saying that they would never play that godforsaken game again. However, come 10:00, where was everyone? Around the table playing Phase 10.
Anyway. This was our drug of choice for an idle Tuesday evening. We were somewhere in the first 3rd of the game and Hana pipes up out of the blue that, "My friend Allison is just like Allison in the book." We all pause, look at her quizzically, and then resume our game. She repeats herself, louder and louder still, until we're forced to respond.
"MY FRIEND ALLISON IS JUST LIKE ALLISON IN THE BOOK!!!"
"What book, Hana?" I say.
"You know. Allison Wondergirl."
We all pause, look at her quizzically, and then resume our game. We should have learned, though, that this tactic did not work the first time. She screamed at a decibel only dogs could hear, "ALLISON WONDERGIRL."
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